Giving up Smoking

I tried, I made it through over 48 hours without a cigarette.

Thursday night I just couldn’t take it any more.
I know, I know, “BAD BAD BAD!!!”

I told P we would try again soon, but that right now there was too much stress and too much going on, and yes I know that there is always going to be stress and there will always be stuff going on. I guess that what I mean to say is that things are still a little stressed at times between P and I, he is working on so hard on his anxiety and stuff, we are working on building a stronger us, and I feel too much pressure from all of it that I am afraid that if I don’t have my cigarettes to help keep me calm at times all the hard work we are doing will come undone.

So in a few months after things are more settled, and we are adjusted to the changes going on, we will try to stop smoking again.

Sinus Problems and Drugs

In general I really like the springtime but every year is a battle with sinus problems. Others have much worse problems I'm sure but I just have a steady bout with nasal congestion and drainage into the lungs.

A couple nights ago I got frustrated and didn't want to deal with a chest full of glop in the morning and popped a Claritin at about 8pm. The 24hr Claritins have 240mg of pseudoephedrine and that stuff makes me fly like drinking a case of Coke. It takes a little for the drugs to kick in and in this case it was after I went to bed at 10. After laying in bed and listening to the radio I fell asleep about 10:30 and all was good. Then in the middle of the night, or so I thought, the pseudoephedrine must have taken effect. I rolled over raised my eyelid and saw it was only 11:30. This was going to be a long sleepless night.

I was in a strange dreamland state where I was very aware of things around me but still too groggy to do anything.